Whether you planned on having kids or you and your spouse were surprised by a little miracle, you became parents. It is an event that you cannot prepare for. It is one of the toughest jobs in the world that so many do not see as an actual job. Usually, those who believe this, are the ones that have never actually had kids. Yes, they may have cared for other kids in the past but have never experienced the real practice of having their own kids.
Parenting can be though. You fail, and your kids will fail. It is how we look at those failures and turn them around into positive constructive criticism.
We are all imperfect parents trying to raise imperfect children in a world that is imperfect itself. For those who don’t have children, you must see how difficult it can be.
Our kids will make many mistakes. We try to teach them how to avoid mistakes that we have made in our pastime but most of the times that does not help. Kids must learn from their own mistakes before they can learn how to adjust to avoid those types of mistakes.
Let’s face it, we all want perfect kids. We want the perfect husband or wife, we want the perfect house, the perfect church family, the perfect town, and the perfect kids. The reality of it is that we will never have any of that. We will still have an imperfect spouse, an imperfect church family, imperfect kids…you get the point. What we can do is strive to keep them as close to perfect as possible.
The Bible lays it out for us in many verses that we all fail. Romans 3:23 reminds us that we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
We need to look at the way we treat our kid’s failures. If your child, or another child you are caring for, makes a mess without permission; there are ways that you can reprimand the child without destroying their hearts. What would your life be like if you were scolded by Christ for every little, tiny negative thing you have done in your life?
After the child had has been punished, assuming it was a legitimate cause for punishment, you as a parent must become the empathetic parent again. Those who don’t have their own kids may find it hard to believe that parents must be the punisher one second and the next second, they are the nurse comforting their child. Psalms 145:14 tell us that Christ loves us, and each time we fail, he is right there to pick all of us up again.
Now that our kids have failed, and we have corrected their actions, we must help them back on their path again. Failure is hard on a kid, and an adult. Sports for example; in baseball if the child strikes out 10 straight times, we work with them on their swing, we must get them back in the batter’s box to try again. We must teach them to stand back in the box when they fail. Provers 24:16 reminds us that even though a righteous man falls seven times, he will get up, but the wicked will stumble into ruin.
Now it is time to get over it! Yes, get over it. You have done your best to help your child learn about the situation, now move on. Don’t keep bringing it up to your kids as that only hurts their image and sets you back further. Philippians 3:13 tell us to reach forward for things which are ahead. We can’t live in the past and expect to grow in the future.
Helping our kids be as close to perfect as possible can be one tough job. If we instill Christ in their life, they will have a better chance of growing up, Christ-like, having kids and being amazing parents themselves.
God is Good…